Updated November 12, 2026Agent researchedEditor reviewed

Apps, games and social media

The apps, games and social networks kids use are where most of the social risk lives: who can contact them, what they are shown and what they are pressured to send. Most of them now have a family setting, and it works best when you set it up together.

Reviewed by SafeMama editorial · November 11, 2026

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Set up each app or game with your child instead of for them. Turn on the platform's own family setting, agree what they should tell you about, and make sure they know that if something goes wrong online they will not be in trouble for telling you. The settings reduce exposure. The conversation is what protects them.

Start with a conversation, then the settings

The apps, games and social networks kids use are where the social risk lives: who can contact them, what they are shown, what they are asked to send, and what they spend. Almost all of them now have a family or supervision setting. It is worth turning on, and it works much better when your child helped set it up.

Decide first what you want your child to tell you about, and say out loud that telling you will not cost them the device. The settings reduce exposure. That agreement is what keeps you in the loop.

What can go wrong

Contact from people they do not know. Chat, direct messages and game lobbies.
Pressure for images or money. Sextortion is the most serious form (see below).
Spending. In-game currencies and purchases.
What the feed shows. The Surgeon General's advisory says the evidence is not there to call social media sufficiently safe for children and adolescents, while also noting benefits.
Time. The Surgeon General's advisory recommends tech-free zones, and a family media plan is the place to write them down.

The free-first stance

Most major platforms have their own family tool, and so do the phone and tablet underneath it. If an app has none, that is worth knowing before your child joins. Use these first:

On the device: Screen Time on iPhone and iPad and Google Family Link control app downloads and purchases for every app at once, and who can reach your child through the phone's own calls and messages. Chat inside a game or social app is set in that app's own family settings.
In the app: Roblox's parental controls manage content maturity, chat, spending and screen time. Instagram's supervision lets a parent see time spent and set time limits. Both are described on the platforms' own pages, listed below.
In the family: a family media plan and tech-free zones, both recommended in the Surgeon General's advisory. Include yourself in the plan.

Only after that, look at a paid app for a specific gap.

Sextortion: what to do

Financial sextortion is when someone coerces a person into sending explicit images and then demands money. According to a 2022 FBI alert, predators often use fake accounts and target boys aged 14 to 17, though the FBI has interviewed victims as young as 10.

If it happens:

Tell your child it is not their fault and they are not in trouble. They need to hear that first. The person who did this is to blame.
Do not pay or comply before getting help. The alert says cooperating or paying rarely stops the blackmail, and in many cases the images are released even when payments are made.
Report the account through the app's safety feature, then block it. Do not delete the profile or messages. The FBI says they can help law enforcement.
Report it to your local FBI field office (1-800-CALL-FBI), at tips.fbi.gov, or to the NCMEC CyberTipline at cybertipline.org.
Ask for the image to be taken down. NCMEC's Take It Down is a free service for images or videos taken before age 18. It works from a digital fingerprint made on your child's device, so the image itself is not uploaded. NCMEC says it works on public or unencrypted platforms that have agreed to participate, and that removing content already posted may be limited.

If your child seems overwhelmed or talks about hurting themselves, call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, or chat at 988lifeline.org. If your child is in immediate danger, call 911.

What to check before a child joins

The platform's stated minimum age. Age 13 is a legal threshold for data collection under COPPA, not a safety rating. Platforms set their own minimums: Discord, for example, says users must be at least 13, and up to 16 in some countries.
What the family tool covers, and what it does not. Read the platform's own page before you rely on it.
Who can contact your child by default. Change it to the narrowest setting, then widen it later if needed.
Whether you can set spending limits.
What changes as they grow. Some controls change as a child gets older. Roblox's page says that from age 13 a child manages their own screen time limits and blocking.

We are adding platform-by-platform setup guides to this section. Until then, the device-level guides above handle downloads and purchases for every app. Set chat and contact limits inside each app.

How we choose

We start from the family settings an app or game already has, and from what its own help pages say they do. We say plainly what a setting does not cover, because the gap between a control and the problem you were worried about is where parents get caught out. We do not invent age cutoffs: where the official guidance gives none, we say so.

The platform's own family or supervision tools first
What the tool does not cover, stated plainly
Official guidance (FTC, Surgeon General, FBI) over commentary
A conversation plan, not just a settings list
No fear-based selling

Save & share

Before a child joins an app or game

Skip these

Accounts created without you, so none of the family settings are on
Controls set up once and never reviewed as your child grows
Treating a supervision tool as a substitute for talking

Look for these

The platform's family or supervision tool, switched on together
Control over who can contact or chat with your child
Spending limits for games with in-game currency
A family media plan, including screen-free zones such as bedtime
A plan for what to do if someone pressures your child for images or money

Decide in advance what your child will tell you about, and say that telling you will not cost them the device. Then they have a reason to tell you.

The science, briefly

What the official guidance says

The U.S. Surgeon General's advisory on social media and youth mental health says the evidence does not allow the conclusion that social media is sufficiently safe for children and adolescents, and also says it can offer benefits. Its advice to families is practical: create a family media plan, create tech-free zones, model responsible use yourself, and report cyberbullying and online abuse or exploitation. It names no age to start. It says to teach children about technology and empower them to be responsible online participants at the appropriate age.

The FTC's guidance on parental controls describes what the tools are for: managing time online, restricting the type of content, getting information about activity, limiting who a child can communicate with, and restricting purchases. It adds that they need to be set up on all the devices your child uses.

Age 13 is a data rule, not a safety rating. The FTC's COPPA rule protects children under 13 by requiring verifiable parental consent before a site collects their personal information. The FTC says it does not apply to teenagers. Individual platforms set their own minimum ages in their terms: Discord's help page, for example, says users must be at least 13, and in some countries up to 16.

Common mistakes

What parents get wrong

"Thirteen means it is safe for a 13-year-old"

Thirteen is where COPPA's parental-consent rule stops applying, and where many platforms set their minimum age. Neither is a judgment that the platform is safe for a thirteen-year-old. The Surgeon General's advisory says the evidence is not there to call social media sufficiently safe for children and adolescents.

"The supervision tool shows me everything"

Check what each tool covers. Instagram's parent guide says supervision lets a parent see how much time a teen spends on Instagram and set limits, and its page does not say it shows messages. Roblox's controls cover content maturity, chat, spending and screen time. Neither is a window into every conversation.

"Paying the person will make it stop"

In a sextortion case, the FBI's public alert says cooperating or paying rarely stops the blackmail, and that in many cases predators release the images even if payments are made. Block the person, keep the messages, and report it.

Start here