Parental controls on iPhone and iPad, set up properly
Apple's Screen Time is free, built in, and buried under settings most people never open. It covers app limits, downtime, content filtering and purchase approval — here is the fifteen-minute setup, and the one setting that makes all the others hold.
Before anything else: set a Screen Time passcode that is not the device unlock code. This is the step people skip, and skipping it makes everything else theatre — if the unlock code also opens Screen Time, every limit you configure can be undone by the person it applies to.
The short version
Screen Time is Apple's built-in parental control system, managed either on the child's device or remotely through Family Sharing. It provides Downtime, per-app and per-category App Limits, Communication Limits, and Content & Privacy Restrictions covering web content, purchases, app installs and privacy settings. The critical step is setting a Screen Time passcode different from the device unlock code — without it every other setting is one tap from being switched off.
At a glance
- SafeMama view
- Screen Time is Apple's built-in parental control system, managed either on the child's device or remotely through Family Sharing. It provides Downtime, per-app and per-category App Limits, Communication Limits, and Content & Privacy Restrictions covering web content, purchases, app installs and privacy settings. The critical step is setting a Screen Time passcode different from the device unlock code — without it every other setting is one tap from being switched off.
- Easy swap
- Set a unique Screen Time passcode first
Where Screen Time setups go wrong
- Using the same passcode as the device unlock — The single most common failure. If your child knows the unlock code and it is also the Screen Time code, every limit you set is decorative.
- Setting limits on the child's device instead of via Family Sharing — Local setup works, but managing through Family Sharing from your own phone means changes and approval requests come to you rather than requiring their device in your hand.
- Relying on 'Limit Adult Websites' alone — It is a useful filter and it is not comprehensive. For younger children, the 'Allowed Websites Only' mode is far more effective, if less convenient.
- Leaving 'Allow Changes' unrestricted — Under Content & Privacy Restrictions, account, passcode and cellular data changes can each be locked. Left open, they are the routes around everything else.
- Forgetting Communication Limits — Separate from app limits. It governs who can be contacted during allowed time and during downtime, and it is one of the more useful settings for younger children.
The setting that makes the rest work
Before anything else: set a Screen Time passcode that is not the device unlock code.
This is the step people skip, and skipping it makes everything else theatre. If your child can unlock the phone, and the unlock code also opens Screen Time, then every limit you carefully configure is one tap from being turned off — and you will not be told.
Use a different four digits. Add your Apple ID as the recovery option so a forgotten code is an inconvenience rather than a factory reset.
The fifteen-minute setup
1. Decide where you are managing from. You can set Screen Time up directly on the child's device, or through Family Sharing from your own. Family Sharing is better: approval requests come to your phone as notifications, so "can I download this" stops requiring their device in your hand.
2. Set Downtime. Scheduled hours when only the apps you allow will open. Start here rather than with a daily cap — an off-schedule is easier to live with than a countdown, and it removes the argument about when the time ran out.
3. Set App Limits by category. You can limit whole categories — Social, Games, Entertainment — or individual apps. Categories are the faster setup and the one to start with; refine to specific apps once you see where the time actually goes.
4. Set Communication Limits. Who can be contacted during allowed time and during downtime. This is separate from app limits and is one of the more genuinely useful controls for younger children.
5. Open Content & Privacy Restrictions. This is the substantial section and where most of the real capability lives:
- iTunes & App Store Purchases — set installing, deleting and in-app purchases to "Don't Allow" or require a password
- Content Restrictions — age ratings for apps, music, films and TV, plus web content
- Allow Changes — lock account changes, passcode changes and cellular data changes
That last group matters. Left unrestricted, they are the routes around everything above them.
6. Turn on Ask to Buy in Family Sharing, including for free apps. Most of what you want to intercept costs nothing to download.
Web filtering, honestly
"Limit Adult Websites" is a reasonable automatic filter and it is not comprehensive — no automatic filter is. For younger children, "Allowed Websites Only" is dramatically more effective: nothing opens unless it is on your list. It is also more work, and it will occasionally block a homework site.
That trade is worth making for primary-school children and is usually unworkable for teenagers, which is a fair summary of parental controls generally.
What it will not do
Screen Time does not read messages or monitor social media content. If that is specifically what you are looking for, it is a paid app — and worth reading about the trade-offs before you buy one.
It also only covers Apple devices. A household running both platforms needs Family Link as well, and cross-platform households are the clearest case for a paid tool that does both.
For what limits are reasonable in the first place, see how much screen time by age.
Safer alternatives
- Set a unique Screen Time passcode first — Before configuring anything else. Everything downstream depends on it, and it is a recovery email away if you forget it.
- Manage through Family Sharing — Approval requests arrive on your phone, so 'can I install this' becomes a notification rather than an interruption.
- Use Downtime rather than a total daily cap — Scheduled off-hours are easier to live with than a countdown, and they remove the argument about when time runs out.
- Use Ask to Buy for every purchase and install — Free apps included — most of what you want to intercept costs nothing to download.
Common questions
Part of the Parental Controls hub— the rest of our coverage in this category.